Caring for a Parent with Prostate Cancer

A measure of how aggressive the cancer cells look under a microscope. A higher Gleason score means more aggressive cancer that may need more prompt treatment.

A protein produced by the prostate. Elevated PSA in the blood can be a sign of prostate cancer. Doctors use PSA levels to monitor how well treatment is working over time.

How far the cancer has spread. Early-stage prostate cancer is contained within the prostate. Advanced prostate cancer has spread to lymph nodes, bones, or other organs.

For slow-growing, low-risk prostate cancer, watchful waiting is a legitimate, medically sound approach. The cancer is monitored closely but not treated unless it shows signs of growing. This surprises many families but is appropriate for many men.

Removes the entire prostate gland. Recovery requires a catheter for a period after surgery and your father will need help at home during this time. Urinary and sexual side effects are common.

Either external beam radiation or brachytherapy (radioactive seeds implanted in the prostate). Another curative option for localized cancer with a different side effect profile than surgery.

Lowers testosterone levels, which prostate cancer needs to grow. Used for locally advanced or metastatic cancer. Side effects include hot flashes, fatigue, mood changes, loss of muscle mass, bone thinning, and loss of sexual function — these are significant and affect quality of life.

Used for advanced prostate cancer that no longer responds to hormone therapy. Ask the oncologist whether your father's cancer has been tested for relevant genetic markers that might open targeted therapy options.

Leaking urine is common after surgery and sometimes after radiation. It usually improves over time. Pelvic floor exercises help. Stock up on incontinence pads quietly and without making it a big deal — this is practical, not shameful.

Can occur during or after radiation. Your father may need to use the bathroom frequently and urgently. Plan outings around this. Know where restrooms are before you leave the house.

Can be severe and persistent. Encourage gentle activity — short walks — which can help, without pushing your father to do more than he can. Fatigue from ADT is real and not laziness.

Common when advanced prostate cancer has spread to the bones. Do not let your father tough it out. Tell the oncology team — there are effective treatments specifically for bone metastases.

Loss of sexual function and changes in masculinity are deeply personal. Many men find this the hardest part of prostate cancer treatment. Do not minimize it. Let your father lead the conversation and follow his pace.

"Is active surveillance appropriate, or does this cancer need treatment now?"

"What are the urinary and sexual side effects of each treatment option, and how likely are they?"

"If we choose hormone therapy, what can we do to protect bone density?"

"Has the tumor been tested for genetic markers that might affect treatment options?"

"What are the signs that the cancer is progressing, and when should we call?"

When prostate cancer reaches its final stages, hospice shifts the focus to comfort, dignity, and quality of life. Many families wish they had called sooner — the support it brings can be life-changing.

Your father's cancer is no longer responding to treatment, he is experiencing significant pain or bone fractures from metastases, he is losing weight and strength rapidly, or he has expressed that he does not want more aggressive treatment.

Bone pain from advanced prostate cancer can be severe. Hospice teams specialize in managing exactly this kind of pain with medications and other approaches that make a real difference.

Medicare's hospice benefit covers care when a doctor certifies life expectancy is six months or less if the disease follows its expected course. Many people receive hospice for longer.

Nurses, aides, social workers, and chaplains come to your home. They manage pain and symptoms, provide personal care, give you rest, and are reachable by phone at any hour. Bereavement support is included.