What to Do When You Feel Like You Can’t Do This Anymore
If you are reading this, you have probably been running on empty for a while. What you are feeling is real. It has a name: caregiver burnout. And it is not a sign that you are failing. It is a sign that you have been giving too much for too long without enough support.
What burnout feels like:
- Exhausted even after sleeping
- Feeling resentful, sad, or angry — and then feeling guilty about it
- Getting sick more often
- Withdrawing from friends and things you used to enjoy
- Feeling like nothing you do is ever enough
Step 1: Say it out loud. “I am burned out.” Naming it matters. It is the first step to doing something about it.
Step 2: Ask for help — specifically. “Can you help me?” rarely works. People do not know what to do. Try: “Can you sit with Dad for two hours on Saturday so I can sleep?” Specific requests get specific help.
Step 3: Accept imperfect help. Help from a sibling who does not do things exactly your way is still help. Let go of perfect. Done is better than perfect when you are this tired.
Step 4: Use respite care. Respite care is short-term relief for caregivers. Adult day programs, in-home respite services, and short-term nursing home stays all exist for this purpose. You are allowed to use them.
Step 5: Talk to someone. A therapist, a caregiver support group, or even a trusted friend. Carrying this alone makes everything heavier. You do not have to earn the right to be supported.
Step 6: Remember this truth. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is the only way you can keep taking care of them.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please call or text 988. Help is available 24 hours a day.